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My parent’s house is haunted, but not all the time, it’s an occasional haunting…it’s an old. During Christmas break I was up late, nearly midnight I guess but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that I was the only human still downstairs.

I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed and heard someone walk down the stairs. It’s common for my mom to come down after she and dad have gone to bed to get a pill she forgot or to tell me to go to bed. I paused what I was doing, waiting for her to say something but nothing ever happened. I finished taking my make up off and went up to bed. My parents were still awake.

Now, when I’m up last in the house and I go to the bathroom to get ready for bed I do it as quickly as possible because, honestly I get the feeling that I’m being watched from above almost every time…and the bathroom has a big mirror, which I hate. My sister gets the same feeling.

So by the time I went upstairs and realized mom was still up I decided to go to bed and investigate in the morning, having realized what had happened but also wanting no definite proof in hopes that I’d be able to sleep that night. I managed and in the morning no one in the house said they’d gone downstairs or heard anyone go downstairs- which is impossible you have to pass between all the rooms upstairs to go down the staircase and the stairs are 50 plus years and squeaky hardwood…they would have heard the footsteps if they were made by a live human.

By Ashley Mcknight

A winter or two ago, we were going home from my Grandma’s and as we drove by a friend’s house a I saw a man in a blue jacket and jeans leaning against the power pole in said friend’s yard. He was middle aged I think but I couldn’t see very well. It may have been a trick of my eyes in the dark, but I was adamant that I’d seen something that my parents agreed to drive around the block to see if he was still there, he wasn’t. Maybe I’m wrong but it takes a lot to imagine a man in detail for no reason just hanging around someone’s yard.

By Ashley Mcknight

Grampy used to work around our local rink and coach hockey. I was at the rink waiting for my dad (who works at the rink, naturally) to get out of a meeting with his boss so I could get a ride home after school. This was the time of year that they take the ice out for the summer and there was a tall man in a red flannel shirt (he must have really liked those shirts, I remember him wearing them) checking out the equipment on the ice surface. There are 3 workers in the rink besides the boss and they were all upstairs in the office…he didn’t acknowledge me, I guess he just wanted to see how things were done these days…or let me know in a less terrifying way that he was still keeping an eye on me.

By Ashley Mcknight

I was home alone one night and was up in my bedroom (of course) and the cat was with me. My parent’s cat is very calm and lazy…not the running type. Suddenly for no reason she flipped out and ran downstairs and then just behind my left shoulder my Grampy called my name twice. I can’t remember what he sounded like alive since I was little when he died, but I KNOW it was him. Needless to say, I followed the cat. Disembodied voices and I do not get along. EVPs are cool though…maybe I’ll play with them, although on Paranormal State a girl got possessed through playing with EVPs- watch I Am Six…choices, choices…

By Ashley Mcknight

Twice as a teen, when I was pretty mouthy, my Grampy showed up, I don’t know why- probably to scare me straight…even though I doubt he actually meant to scare me.

The first time I was about 13 and staying the night at my aunt’s house (she’s my 2nd mom) everyone was still up but me, I was in bed. I looked at the foot of the bed and there he was in full color just like he was in life- complete with red flannel shirt. I pulled the covers over my head (I’m OKAY with gradual appearances but the Bam! there they are kind scare the hell out of me!) he was gone when I looked again. I remember getting up to go out into the kitchen where everyone else was (and where the light was) and having my aunt be a bit pissed about my still being awake…damn right I was awake! This was also the first time I’d actually SEEN something as opposed to sensing it.

4. I was home alone one night and was up in my bedroom (of course) and the cat was with me. My parent’s cat is very calm and lazy…not the running type. Suddenly for no reason she flipped out and ran downstairs and then just behind my left shoulder my Grampy called my name twice. I can’t remember what he sounded like alive since I was little when he died, but I KNOW it was him. Needless to say, I followed the cat. Disembodied voices and I do not get along. EVPs are cool though…maybe I’ll play with them, although on Paranormal State a girl got possessed through playing with EVPs- watch I Am Six…choices, choices…

5. Grampy used to work around our local rink and coach hockey. I was at the rink waiting for my dad (who works at the rink, naturally) to get out of a meeting with his boss so I could get a ride home after school. This was the time of year that they take the ice out for the summer and there was a tall man in a red flannel shirt (he must have really liked those shirts, I remember him wearing them) checking out the equipment on the ice surface. There are 3 workers in the rink besides the boss and they were all upstairs in the office…he didn’t acknowledge me, I guess he just wanted to see how things were done these days…or let me know in a less terrifying way that he was still keeping an eye on me.

By Ashley Mcknight

I never had anything that I remember happening to me until I was 9 (other stuff could have but I was the type of kid to keep my mouth shut when in doubt). My great Grammie had died and she was Christian. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Papa, my sister and I went to clean out her cabin…fun, not.

The whole time we were there I could feel/sense something EVIL (like as in completely demonic) floating in one of the corners of the ceiling watching me, I can still feel it’s eyes on MY back…ugh…I know that of it weren’t for Grammie’s protection (even though I couldn’t feel her) it would have killed us or at least seriously hurt us.

I didn’t tell my Mom about this until I was well into my 20s. She had no clue but does remember me wanting to get out of the house ASAP, but she thought I was just bored and being impatient…instead of scared witless. I don’t like to go into detail about this experience (or even think about it) because I’m afraid it will call the thing back.

Please don’t go thinking I’m the super religious Angels vs Demons type…I really don’t like the manmade Church, but I know enough to avoid stuff like what I encountered that day…no spirit boards for me!

By Ashley Mcknight

Intro: I was born I was 3 months premature and not breathing, some people say that near death experiences give you a 2nd sight but, it runs in my family anyway on both sides…six of one, half a dozen of another eh? I’m also a natural redhead, no stake burnings please.

I’m fascinated by the paranormal (just check out my itunes collection of Paranormal State, Psychic Kids, etc…) but still scared of it…someday I’ll ghost hunt and face my fears. My biggest hang up is doing the stuff in my house, elsewhere is cool though.

Just after my Grampy died (I was 5 he was 81) my mom went downstairs to put wood in the fire (it was winter) and every door into the house from outside, there are three between the kitchen and the porch, was wide open. BUT Dad says it was before Grampy died, I don’t know but either way my little sister and I weren’t told! I did some research into pervious owners of my parent’s home last summer and came to realize that a distant relation (not sure how we’re related to be exact- but in a town with fewer than 5000 people, if you share a surname you’re probably related) used to live and most likely died in the house…and we had no idea. We just know that a woman with the same last name as my grandfather lived in our house 40 years before my parents moved in. To top it off the street we live on is named for another member of the family.

By Ashley Mcknight

This is a breaking news report from K-U-M channel 15 at seven. As always, my name is James Christian. The hunt for Big Foot is officially over, yes it is true, we hunted down and killed Brandon Kyles’ mother. It was a long hard day near Apache Junction but with us live is Brandon Kyle himself, who is probably still in mourning from the loss, Brandon?

Yes James I am here, and I am sorry to tell you that my mother is alive and well, while your girlfriend is still sleeping with your brother.

Today was a gruesome yet joyous occasion in the world of science and the little meth town of Apache Junction. Bright and early this morning a group of hunters were released within the trailer park to hunt down and kill the mysterious Big Foot that had been foraging through the meth needles and empty McDonald’s bags.

At about five in the evening I got a call on my trusty phone paid for by the station, informing me that Big Foot had been shot and killed.

Christian chimes in, wait, you have a network phone? I don’t have one, why is that?

Brandon comes back in, that is because you suck ass, anyway back to the news you no talent raper of ass, big foot has been shot by stealthy maneuvering and planning within the redneck compound.

As you see behind me the rednecks have begun their usual celebration with a bon fire and country music. Approaching me now is Cletus, James’ cousin and best friend. Hi Cletus, can you inform me of what happened today?

Uhh ya, so I was at home playing strip poker with my mom when I got a call on the hand held telemaphone that big foot had been seen foraging for empty McDonald’s stuff within the trailer park again. So I told my mom to put her bras back on and done got my stuff and ran for my pick up truck. When we got here my cousin was here with his wife, his other cousin Caley. They had their shotguns ready and went in as stealthy as they could dropping their big and tall beers and sporting their trucker hats of camouflagey.

After about ten minutes with no luck I scratched my ass and looked up towards that der big mountain dingy and saw Big Foot! Taking careful aim with my deer huntin gun sporting a number 3 sticker for the great god Dale Earnhardt bless his soul, I fired and dat sum bitch came rollin down the mountain when she did come like my fat sister rollin down a hill chasin a egg mcmuffin that slipped out her claw hand that was rehtardee since burf.

Running towards Big Foot we scooped him up and began the celebration of the hunt with beer and lovin.

Thank you Cletus for that rendition of your lack of public school education and incest. James we now lift up Big Foot to show you the man, the beast, the legend.

~Lifts big foot up to show the camera~ That’s right folks, I asked before if it was beast or hillbilly, and I have the answer. The McDonald’s eating, meth head is none other then James’s Uncle Ricky. What do you have to say about that James?

Cutting to James he mumbles under his breath and stutters wildly.

Brandon cuts back in, sorry I do not understand what you are saying with a penis in your mouth James, can you please remove it and speak non-gay talk to me. We both know I do not speak cockanese, which your girlfriend can attest to.

James still not able to speak, Brandon cuts in and tells the folks that this has been a breaking news report from K-U-M channel 15 and wishes everyone a good night and James a happy funeral service and finger in the ass, as the camera goes black.

            Thank you for tuning in tonight to K-U-M channel 15 news at seven. I wanted to lead off the night with another story about the Baby Batter Killer, but so far there hasn’t been any recent hooker deaths ~sigh~ so we go to Brandon Kyle with a breaking news story, Brandon?

            Thank you James I am here, and I just want to comment on how lovely your hairpiece looks today, no one would ever guess you were as bald as my ass.

            Tonight I am standing here in front of the home of Gretchen and Calen Davis, a kind Mormon couple that is well known around the community for their bake sales and spawning eleven children. Unfortunately tragedy struck tonight within this home as Calen was playing with his five month old baby, when it gained the powers of Brigham Young and began to shake the ever loving shit out of his father resulting in extreme brain damage and death, all for taking away his binky.

            The police as you see are still surrounding the house in a Mexican standoff with the baby that continues to stutter gibberish to all of us in the demands he wants. So far all I have understood was “goo gah goo gododallg” which in baby translation means “ I want some boobs in my mouth”.

            Wait something is happening inside of the house (pans camera to the doorway) yes, the baby is coming out with a white buttoned up shirt, slacks and tie on. He looks as if he is surrendering or getting ready to go on his mission already at the ripe age of five months old.

James it looks like good news, the baby is now in custody and has been placed inside the back of the police cruiser, and of course in a car seat. From the home of Gretchen Davis and the recently deceased, this is Brandon signing off, back to you asshair.

            Thank you Brandon for that exciting news report full of crap. How in the hell did you translate the baby gibberish to mean, “I want titties.” Also, how are you not fired yet with the language you use? This is network television!

            Brandon chimes in “I said boobies you brainless ~expletive deleted~ and I have higher ratings then you because people find me funny and unique, while people find you lame and boring, be back tomorrow with a news report on the Gilbert Big Foot, real creature or just a hairy redneck walking around naked, you decide. See I did your job asshole!”

            James turning flush red from embarrassment looks at the camera and says the sign off for channel 15 K-U-M as the screen goes black, and another news day is complete.

By: Kristian J. Hanson

My name is Dr. Joseph James and I am a scientist for a high level secret company working secretly from Chicago Illinois. My building of research is actually located underneath the Water Tower building across the street from the John Hancock building. This is the lab I called home for nearly fifteen years before the incident occurred. Before I get into the incident I would like to explain what we did and still currently do there now. 

            Working under the guidance of a brilliant scientist named Ronald Johnson we were trying to obtain the genetic codes from insects that give them the ability to lift one hundred to one thousand times their body weight and transfer it into the human body, in turn giving us the ability to lift massive amounts of weight like an insect. The research was going fantastically as my love Samantha and I worked feverishly to the goal we had all been working so hard to obtain.
            Of course we tested the items out on lab rats and monkeys before a human would ever be thrown into the mix, but every time we thought we had it, a mutation would occur and the animal would begin to take on physical characteristics of the insect. One rat that was injected with the praying mantis gene began to turn green and after it mated its mouth opened into the mouth of a mantis and bit its lovers head off spraying blood all over the glass causing us to euthanize the creature.
            Another failed attempt was with Blinky our pet spider monkey. It took on the effects of a brown recluse spider by climbing on the interior of the cage and it’s eyes taking the shape of a spider as it shot spider-webbing from it’s pee hole. I personally always knew a mammal becoming a spider would cause webbing to come from another orifice than the one portrayed by Spider-Man. I found this all out personally and that is where I will now begin.
            One night in the lab Samantha and I had a break through. We were following the gene splicing under the microscope and added a few drops of my own personal blood to see what would happen. Like clockwork it worked perfectly with the Black Widow spider we had recently injected with a Nero-toxin inhibitor to give it that much of a pop. Hugging one another at the test results we decided to do something that was and is still illegal. We went in for the human test. I was the real life Jeff Goldblum from The Fly except I was not trying to transport from one place to another, rather trying to garner the positive effects of an arachnid while trying to keep out the negative side effects and mutations.
            When I went into the glass case to retrieve the black widows blood with a needle I couldn’t find it in the case. I carefully moved everything from side to side inside but couldn’t find that sneaky little bitch. When I put my hand on the lid to place it back on I felt a burning sensation inside of my hand as I looked down to see her biting down on my hand. Natural reflexes I swung around with my other hand and squished her on top of my hand extracting the fangs and causing her blood to mix in with mine and the poison she had just injected me with.

By: Kristian J. Hanson